It's back to school in Texas. Yeah, some of you have been in school for weeks now but it's hot here. I'm the only one of left from Matthew's box of 64. Of course Jack got a hold of some of us but most of the others just melted. It was 100 degrees yesterday. If I hadn't been thrown across the play room, I would have ended up in a puddle in a Honda cup holder. Oh, the horror. The life of a crayon is not nearly as glamorous as many people think. Do you know how many kids eat crayons? Between the peeling, snapping, sharpening and melting, it's a wonder any of us make it through a school year. Don't get me started on that whole Black Magic thing either. Simply frightening. Kids are animals.
Come to think of it, I can't think of a school supply that has it easy. Pencils. Pencils get sharpened, used as all manner of probe and pick, and even have their erasers torn off. I haven't seen a pencil yet that hasn't been in someone's ear. Think about it.
Paste. What about paste? Sure it smells good. Kids love to eat paste too. They eat it, throw it, smear it, flick it, scrape it and smush it. My mother had a friend that was a bottle of Liquid Paper. One day he was the picture of health. Then Timmy Taylor put him in the microwave. He was never the same. True story. Rubber bands, chalk, eraser heads, scissors, staplers, it's an endless list of victims. Not even paper is safe. Need I even mention spit balls?
So, as the new year begins again, I'd like for you to take a fresh look at my friends and me. Surely, you have seen us being mistreated. What's the worst thing that you've witnessed? Tell us about it.
Gotta hide. Here comes Jack.