Thursday, April 23, 2009

Wat's Yur Lnguae?

Having trouble understanding that title? Don't worry, you're not the only one. As some of you may remember, Claudia mentioned on Tuesday, that I, Katie, was feeling a little ill. For three days now I've had a raspy, almost non-existent voice and it has taught me that sometimes it's harder to communicate than we realize. These three days reminded me of a presentation I went to back in the Fall semester about a book called The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. While the book focuses on couples, the presentation I attended was talking about employees and friends. The main point behind the presentation was how people have different ways in which they prefer to communicate and be appreciated- the five love languages. Today, I want to share with you these five languages and what a person may appreciate based on their language.

To begin, let's take some time to figure out what each of your love languages is by taking this very short quiz:

I feel especially loved when:

  1. People express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do through words.
  2. A person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me
  3. Someone brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love
  4. Someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores
  5. Someone expresses feelings for me through physical contact
* * * * * *
Now, let's discuss what your love language is based on your answer to the question above.

A = If you chose this answer, then your primary love language is Words of Affirmation. You feel loved when another person tells you that he or she values you as a person and appreciates your special way with the most ordinary tasks. Sometimes all people want is a hand written note that thanks them for their contribution, or a verbal compliment telling them, "You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies!"

B = If you chose this answer, then your primary love language is Quality Time. You feel closest to another person when you receive focused attention. Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time for these people is what matters most to them.

C = If you chose this answer, then your primary love language is Receiving Gifts. Tangible expressions of love assure you that the other person is not only thinking about you, but that he or she cares enough to show you. These gifts need not come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

D = If you chose this answer, then your primary love language is Acts of Service. You feel most loved when someone helps you carry out your responsibilities. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. These little sacrifices will mean the world to you, and will ensure a happy relationship.

E = If you chose this answer, then your primary love language is Primary Touch. You feel most loved when you literally make contact with another person. You enjoy being touched and feeling another's embrace. It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your mate or friend happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of hugs, handshakes, kisses, or other physical contacts.

What becomes most interesting is when you begin interacting with others who do not have the same primary love language as you. This creates an interesting dynamic of trying to communicate with one another through different languages. Each of these languages makes us feel appreciated in one way or another, but we each have our primary language which we prefer. I hope that each of you takes time to share with us in the comment section what your primary love language is based on your answer to the question. Also, feel free to give an example of how someone has shown you love or appreciation through your preferred language.

Before I close out for the day, don't think that I forgot this was the HLA Derby! Have no fear, we will have a prize for today! I have taken this short quiz and I also had Claudia, Cheryl, and Heather take it too! Anyone who can correctly guess what our love languages are will go into a drawing for a copy of The Five Love Languages book. Since some of you may not know us as well as others, if you can guess correctly for 2 out of the 4 of us, you will be entered into the drawing.

Attention to the anonymous posters of HLA Land: Don't forget that if you post as anonymous, we will not be able to put you into the drawing to win our Derby prizes! Feel free to post as anonymous if this makes you feel comfortable, but we would love for you to have a chance at winning some of these fabulous prizes!

Yesterday's Winner:
After Cheryl, Claudia, Heather, and myself voted last night, we simply could not decide between Peggy's Mother's Day cactus/porcupine joke or Melanie's phrase about a sharp cookie. So, I put both of their names into a hat and had my friend Candace draw one out. And the winner is....
Melanie with her phrase "You are one SHARP COOKIE!"
for the first day of school or finals week!

Congrats, Melanie! The porcupine cookie cutter will be headed your way!

Signing off until tomorrow with the song of the day...


Heather said...

No offense Melanie but I hope you aren't on today to read that you won!!!! For those readers that don't know Melanie is expecting a little girl Ellie and she was due to arrive on Monday! So...I hope that today finds Melanie at the hospital Ellie in arms...but if not we are happy to help you pass the time Melanie!

Chaotic said...

Congrats Melanie...on the baby & the win LOL. I am a type D "Acts of service"... interesting book, btw.

Kat said...

I am a quality time type of person. Sometimes this doesn't work well because I am also really bad at keeping in touch with people. I am so glad that Melanie won! Her slogan was my favorite!

Peggy said...

Oh, come on... don't tell me I almost won something!! That's like almost high fiving me, but leaving me hanging!!! :o)

Me, I'm A all the way!


Happy Day y'all!

Cheryl said...

Congrats Melanie!

Chaotic & Kat... you didn't guess!

This is fun. Can I say that I based my answer on friendship and not on love relationships?

Kat said...

I know I didn't guess. I already have the book, so I want someone else to win it.

cassie p said...

Well, I am "Quality Time"...and here are my first guesses:

Cheryl: Acts of Service
Katie K: Words of Affirmation
Heather: Quality Time
Dr. B: Words of Affirmation

Im thinking now that maybe I should change a couple, but I guess Ill stick with my original answers!

Melanie said...

I am an E, almost a D. Woo HOO! I'm so excited about building my cookie cutter collection!

Sorry Heather, Ellie isn't in any hurry to get here it seems!

lindsaymarie said...

I am a words of affirmation person.
My guesses:
Katie - quality time
Claudia - acts of service
Heather - words of affirmation
Cheryl - quality time

Katie K said...

Kat- feel free to go ahead and guess- I can just keep your name out of the drawing! I want you to be able to get in on the fun.

I love hearing what each of your languages is, so I know how you like to be appreciated!

Kat said...

Cheryl- Words of affirmation
Claudia- Receiving gifts
Heather- Quality time
Katie- Acts of service

Tera said...

Melanie...hang in there. Know we're thinking about you! I can't wait to meet her, though!

I think I'm D...but maybe B?

My guesses:
Claudia - D (Service)
Heather - D (Service)
Katie - A (Words of Affirmation)
Cheryl - B (Quality Time)

Laura K said...

I need ALL of these from my hubby! I'm a very needy girl - God love the poor boy! Anyway, I guess I am mostly E, though...I am a cuddler, hugger, hand-holder, still smooch mom and dad hello and goodbye kind of girl!
Random guesses for you other ladies:
Katie - Words of Affirmation
Heather - Quality Time
Claudia - Words of Affirmation
Cheryl - Acts of Service
Trying not to lurk so much...Laura :)

Anonymous said...

Babies get here when they are ready. Of course I'm the one who called NPR to say get rid of due dates because they stress everyone out on the NPR show on what time honored tradition should we ditch. LOL

Melanie - lots of good birthin' vibes to you!

cassie p said...

HAHA, Laura- we guessed the exact same!

Claudia said...

This is fun. One or two of you have me pegged.

I can't wait to find out about Heather, Cheryl, and Katie. Maybe tonight we'll kick off our weekly meeting by talking about this.

There are all kinds of fun and creative uses for what this book has to say.

Cheryl said...

Robin~ which are you?

eknoxuk said...

I went to a seminar on how to interact with your kids based on their love language! It was great. They talked about how for a boy it can be touch, but in our society we stop this with boys too early. Anyway, mine was quality time which was a good surprise for my husband to find out! My guesses...
Claudia-gifts-only because I know how much you love giving gifts to others!

Cheryl said...

(cough) Erica... (cough)... is there anyone else you may want to take a guess for (cough) me (cough)?

Anonymous said...

I thought gifts for Claudia too, but is it what they want to receive, or what they went to give??

Am I one of the pegged ones??

Get it Peggy....pegged!!
aka Peggy @@ still at work