Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Psst...

Tax Rayturn

Psst.  It's Tax Rayturn, here.  I tried to wake Claudia but Stingray was over there late last night.  I'm a bit worried.  By the way, that's not a smile on face.  Stand on your head and look.  It's that day again.  I hate tax day.  If you think today is bad wait till next year.  This is the day when Uncle Sam is either kind enough to give us some of our money back or in my case comes asking for more.  

I'm sick about it.  I'm a good Ray.  I don't start wars.  I'm not on welfare.  I'm not on Medicare and I'm not drawing Social Security.  Yeah, yeah, yeah....I know what you're thinking.  What if it was you?  Or, just wait till you retire buddy.  I get it.  We all have to do our part.  This is America.  Blah blah blah.  I wish my buddy Stingray was here.  I talked to him last night.  He was like a crazy person.  Nothing but long strings of extremely creative yet disturbing profanity.  I tried to lecture him the way you want to tell me.  I couldn't get a word in edgewise.  At one point, he said he was coming to the house.  I was afraid he was going to stick me.

Drunk.  That's what he was.  Drunk and mad.  What do you say to a guy like that?  What are you going to say to me this evening when I'm drunk and mad?  Not only do I have to pay, but I have to stand in line at the post office to do it!  Why did I wait so long?  Because I like to hang on to the few coins that I have as long as I can.  It probably wouldn't be so bad if we could write on the back of our check all the programs that we wanted out money to go to and all the ones that we didn't.  I'd kind of like that.

I'd pay teachers more.  Maybe save a baby seal or two.  Give some kids some medicine.  Send Dr. Phil to Antarctica to work with the penguins for a few years.  Hell, I'd even send Sarah Palin with him.

What about you?  What would you write on the back of your check?

15 comments:

Heather said...

Oh Ray...maybe you should donate more this year so you can't have more write offs next tax season...maybe we'll work on getting status as a non-profit so your gifts to 218 will count...would you like that Ray?

As far as what I would put on the back of my check: higher education!

Chaotic said...

SAVE THE POLAR BEARS
oh, and pay the teachers
we live in a country where we spend more for a person in jail than we do to educate a child.....

Claudia said...

Trees and the environment. That's where my money would go.

Here's another question...

If you're getting a tax return this year what will you spend it on?

Heather said...

We got a tax return thanks to the move and it went to pay off some debt...not exactly stimulating the economy but it is what it is.

Kat said...

Ray, Ray, Ray, why did you wait until the last minute? I did that once and it was much more stressful then it was worth. I would put my taxes for education and police/fire departments. Fortunately we got some back this year that went to pay off some debt. Minus a little for some summer clothes.

Cheryl said...

I could almost purchase two venti Starbuck Carmel Macchiato's with what I got back for 2008 so I just applied it to next year. :)

What would my tax money to support... art and music programs as well as education in general. I'm also very fond of really nice roads.

Peggy said...

Oh don't get me started on politics...no flaming please! I'm not taking any cheap shots at your people! :0)

I think many politicians have been in the government too long and are paid too much for not doing much. And just like any business, any teacher who doesn't meet the requirements and is burned out needs to leave before they start scaring children for life, and welfare and government aide is to help those who can't help themselves, not be a life style. Why is it that movie stars and athletes make millions, but the average middle class worker, who is contributing to society,who is not doing any illegal substances or committing a federal offense, can barely make ends meet?

Stepping down, have a nice day!

maureen said...

Just saying hello! I think its better for my blood pressure if I didnt think of all the things I would like to give money to.....

The one that comes to mind is birth control for illegal aliens....Now that I am hated I guess I should say

Have a great day HLA and dont sweat the small stuff!

Heather I hope your little princess feels better!

Margaret said...

I love Ray... No matter what happens today, his goofy little face makes me smile.

Cheryl said...

We are ALL free to have our own opinions. That's what our forefathers fought for, right? No hating allowed. I'm sure there are many topics we can agree to disagree on - or agree on.

I couldn't help to think about little green martians on birth control though. Hee!hee!

Katie K said...

Good morning. I got a return this year and spent it on fixing my car.

If I could write something on the back of my check it would be education and healthcare for kids.

Cristine said...

My tax return is going to pay for more taxes - haha. Have you seen property tax bills in IL???
Also, I was just told that I'm buying pizza for Matt's b-day gathering, followed the next week by William's b-day party. And I thought the spring/summer slowed down Struble Suds events...so many options but none of them are a spa day for me, a woman can dream

Tera said...

Treye and I got a pretty big tax return this year...both from federal and state. Lucky for me, we had plenty of things to spend it on.

1. I'm unemployed...so it covers groceries and everyday things like that.
2. We splurged (thanks to the financial help of my parents) and went to the 1st & 2nd rounds of the NCAA mens's basketball tourney with my parents and two of our friends. Worth every penny!
3. New couches...Treye big ol' butt broke the sofa we had before.

I'd give money to education.

And if I could give my two "pennies" to government, I'd tell them how I really feel about unemployment. Stupid people get fired from their jobs and sit on their butts for six months collecting money. I have to leave to relocate, have been searching high and low for a job and can't find one and I can't collect a cent. Ugh.....

I'm off my soap box now too...

Happy hump day, HLA!

Chaotic said...

we bought a house so got a refund...
I spend SOME Of it on a Sizzix, along with the REQUIRED accessories :-)
and the granite to build a sidewalk
and hired an electrician to run power out to DW's workshop...

Claudia said...

Ray just called and said he is on his way to the post office to mail his return. Look at that - 5.5 hours to spare! Go Ray.