Free For All Friday: New Year, New You

T.G.I.F.

We are warming up in the new year (a figure of speech, as it is a chilly 26 degrees outside right now).

We don't have a lot of ground to cover, but it's a good start to the new year. Don't miss our update about the Super Bowl Snack Throw Down...

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Signing off until tomorrow...

Smarty Pants

Recap.

All this week we've rolled up our sleeves and worked hard to set the stage for a rewarding 2010. On Monday we named our years - committing to the single thing we most want to achieve. Tuesday we outsmarted our Emotional Brain by generating a long list of easy, fun, new, and different reasons why attaining our goals is a good thing. Wednesday we got a boost of confidence while taking a long stroll down victory lane. We reviewed all of our past successes and reacquainted ourselves with the skills and strengths that have served us so well.

We will finish the week strong by getting S.M.A.R.T.

After today we will continue providing insights and suggestions, but the schedule will be more sporadic. Keep your eyes open for the great logo pictured above. When you see the yellow bulls eye, you will know what is in store.

For now...

I cannot set you free until I at least know you've taken these next few steps, as suggested by M.J. Ryan in her book titled, This Year I Will....

Here we go.

Goal and dreams are far more likely to manifest when they are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Bound. Sounds obvious and intuitive, I know. But, amuse me and play along. It's one thing to think you get it. It's another to actually do the work.

Again, we'll use me and my Year of the Book to illustrate.

Specific: First of all, you recognize my goal for 2010 was not something general such as "Find a more fulfilling career." or "Live my dream as a writer." No, my goal is specific. Write a book. Next year at this time I will either have done it - or not. You must make sure your goal/resolution for 2010 is specific.

Measurable: For me, measurement is easy. I've either written a book or I haven't. Write it and render myself successful. Don't and start beating myself up. Yet, not all resolutions or goals lend themselves to measurement as easily. Let's take a look at a few of your goals.

Cheryl, Year of Art

Measurement is fairly straight forward. She's either created some art or not.

Chaotic, Year of Cards

Also, fairly measurable. She might set a goal for a particular number of cards she wants to create or, better yet, a certain number she plans to sell.

Robin, Year of Me

Robin's is a little harder to measure. Robin's goal doesn't lend itself to the same kind of measurement as either mine, Cheryl's or Chaotic's. Instead, we might ask Robin to assign a number from 1-5 indicating how well "me" is being taken care of right now. Say she says "1.5." Her measurable goal might be to move from 1.5 to a "4" before year's end.

Achievable. This element of goal setting is a question of being realistic. It is not realistic for me to believe that next year at this time my book will be sitting on a shelf somewhere in Barnes & Noble or that my agent will have booked me on Oprah's final episode. Instead, I will set an achievable goal - Complete a book that is ready to mailed to publishers for review.

Relevant: While my stated goal was not to "find a more fulfilling career" or "live my dream as a writer," the fact that I would like to be a writer is precisely what makes it my goal work. Writing a book is relevant, because it directly relates to my future career goals. If yoga, decorating your house, art, balance, talking on the phone, organization, and the many other goals listed on Monday do not REALLY matter to you, then they are not relevant and they will be too easy to drop. If I am describing your situation then, quick abandon ship and establish a new goal for 2010.

Time Bound. This, according to Ryan, refers to creating a time in the future when you will be "done" Again, mine is easy. I must be done by December 2010. Book finished. Peggy's Year of Balance, on the other hand, is a little trickier. She's working on a goal she hopes will persist for the rest of her life. Instead, she might create milestones along the way. "In six months I will have...." Or, "In eight months my reported level of balance will move from 2.5 to 3.5."

No time boundary no completion. Simple as that.

Watch how it works.... I will finish today's post in 25 words or less.

Go to the comment section and share some of the work you've done on your S.M.A.R.T goals. Inquiring minds want to help.

Join the -

I Think I Can, I Think I Can

Things are heating up as many Highlowaha readers are getting into thick of discovering how to make their resolutions and dreams come true in 2010.

It's not too late to join in, but you have a little catching up to do. Read below.

Review for Those Just Dropping In

Inspired by M.J. Ryan's book titled, This Year I Will, our community has already engaged in two activities - with the promise of many more as 2010 progresses. On Monday we considered "soul resolutions," and named our years. I named my year the Year of the Book. Others followed suit with the Years of Decorating, Art, Family, Balance, Cards, Organization, Routine, Yoga, and many more.

Yesterday we worked to outsmart our Limbic Systems. Sounds serious, I know. While the Neocortex (our third brain) is busy generating all kinds of creative ideas about changes we'd like to make in our lives, the Limbic System (our second brain) automatically puts the kibosh on anything that might cause you pain or fear. The temporary discomfort involved in creating a new habit is just enough put your second brain in a tizzy.

The only solution, as advised by Ryan, is to outsmart your Limbic system. We do this by selling it on all the easy, fun, new, and different benefits of meeting our resolutions. I, for instance, decided writing a book would allow me to meet new people while sitting in Starbucks four hours each day, provide me a flexible schedule, improve my writing skills, give me cause to do something I already enjoy, leave behind a legacy, and meet Oprah.

Onward and upward. Day 3.

Cheryl, Robin, Lindsay, Mandi, Holly, Heather, and all you other folks who anted up with a resolution... today we must work on your confidence. Sounds hokey, I know, but the truth is you must believe it to achieve it. Tony Robbins, look out!

Confidence, according to Ryan, keeps our emotional brain out of fight or flight fear AND serves as a reminder to our thinking brain (Neocortex) that we can achieve our goals. Yes, confidence is key.

Let's use me as an example. I want to write a book in 2010. It is essential I have confidence in order to complete the process, yet writing a book is something I know nothing about.

Void of genuine confidence, my Limbic System will kick in and fill my head with all sorts of reasons why I can't pursue my goal. I'm busy with three kids. I'm not an expert. Hours invested over the next year will be time wasted if nothing comes of it. There's probably already a book on the topic I am interested in. I'm not that good at punctuation, anyway. It'll never be a best seller. I have no idea what I'll even do with the book once it's written. What do I even know about publishing? Oh, and the list could go on.

Solution. Develop a Competence Inventory.

Think back to 4-6 accomplishments you've had in your life time. Write down the skills and strengths you employed in order to achieve each. Once completed, analyze your list to determine which skills and strengths you used repeatedly.

Your confidence will grow when you realize those very same skills and strengths - when employed - will allow you to successfully achieve your goal for 2010.

I'll get us rolling.

Accomplishments include completing my Ph.D., posting a blog every day for almost two years, sailing on Semester at Sea, establishing a Women in Research group while living in Kentucky, finally got drapes in my dining room; and bouncing back after a tougher than expected transition to Texas.

I went through each accomplishment and listed which skills and strengths I employed repeatedly. In the end, I determined the skills and strengths that will serve me best in successfully writing my book are: my ability to focus, my discipline in setting and sticking to a schedule, and my willingness to take initiative.

How about you?

What accomplishments have you had in your lifetime? How can you use the same skills and strengths responsible for past achievements to help you reach your goal for 2010?

Hop on Board.

Join the journey.

Brain Teaser

Science 101: We have three brains not one.

First. The Reptilian Brain: Breathe in, breathe out. This is the oldest and most instinctive part of ourselves. It is the part of the brain responsible for our breathing, our heartbeat and all other body functions. It repeats behaviors over and over, never adapting and never learning. The goal of the reptilian brain to preserve life at all costs.

Second. The Limbic System: This is the second brain. This is our emotional brain, concerned with feelings. The emotional brain isn't very smart. It understands "pleasant" or "painful," and "safety" or "danger." The limbic system moves toward pleasure and away from pain.

Third. The Neocortex: This is our thinking brain - the place where we decide we want to do something different.

Pay attention. Here's the big point...

Big Point. Depending on what our desired change is, how it is presented, and what we've done in the past, our Emotional Brain may not cooperate. Remember our Emotional Brain scans for pleasure and safety. According to Ryan, "That is whey we so often "sabotage" ourselves - If the change seems like it's too scary, too hard, or no fun, your emotional brain is going to work against it."

Solution. Get your Emotional Brain to cooperate with your Neocortex by figuring out what will be fun, new, easy, and different about developing this new habit or achieving this new goal.

Today's activity. Spend some time mulling over this question. What could be easy, fun, new, and different about creating this new habit of yours? Jot some notes on the paper you tucked away after yesterday's activity.

But... according to Ryan, "Allow your creative thinking to percolate over the next few days. The more you can find what is fun and enjoyable about what you want, the more your emotional brain will cooperate."

Never Too Late: Some of you jumped on yesterday's activity like white on rice. Others participated but didn't post, and still others are slow adopters riding the wave to see if it's worth the effort. It is.

Kudos to all of you who jumped right in and named your year. Of those willing to share in the comment section, so far it seems we have:

The Year of the Book (me)

The Year of the Phone (Katie)

The Year of Art (Cheryl)

The Year of Yoga (Lindsay)

The Year of Organization (Holly)

The Year of Decorating (Heather)

The Year of Balance (Peggy)
The Year of Me (Robin) and

The Year of the Card Company (Chaotic).

Our questions. We want to know, what could be easy, fun, new, and different about...

writing a book

mastering the telephone

producing art

delving into yoga

getting more organized

decorating my home

achieving balance
focusing on self; and

launching a card company?

Who wants to start? Join us in the comment section and share some of your preliminary thoughts about what's easy, fun, new, and different about your resolution - or anybody else's for that matter.

Holly... Being more organized will free up time, create less stress, and make your home more aesthetically pleasing.

Join the Journey.

On Target

Make this year the perfect 10 that it can be.

Grab a piece of paper and pen and meet me back here in a minute or two. Today we're talking resolutions.

Don't ignore me. I know you are thinking, "I don't set resolutions, because I never end up keeping them." I know that's what you're thinking, because Cheryl was at my house for dinner last night and that's exactly what she proclaimed.

But, like Cheryl, you shine. You won't ignore me, because deep inside hope springs eternal and you believe all things are possible - even your capacity to make a dream come true.

Got your paper? Good. You'll be working with this same sheet of paper for the next four days, so once we're done for today, find a good, safe place to store it until we meet again tomorrow. With a little effort on your part and a touch of luck on my part, you might just learn something this week.

Side note. Highlowaha has been undergoing a slow evolution over the past year or so. We've gone from dealing exclusively in creative ideas to periodically delving into the art of shining and, on occasion, sharing an inspirational story or two. I like where we're going and I hope you do too. This week is a formal acknowledgment of the direction in which our community is already moving.

I just finished a book by M.J. Ryan titled, This Year I Will...: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True. While admittedly I enjoy self-help books, even a jaded skeptic could find something of interest in these 220 pages. But, no need to rush out and buy it. That's what I'm here for.

The plan. Each day this week we will do something interactive based on readings in Ryan's book. Then, a few times a month, for the rest of the year, I will do follow-up segments to address the more than forty other interesting points she makes. In fact, you will know we are doing follow up each time you see the great looking logo (designed by Cheryl) at the top of the post. If you are a willing partner and have an interest in shining, I know you will get something from out time together.

Let's begin.

Soul resolutions. Ryan maintains resolutions such as, " lose ten pounds by June", "live a more balanced life", or "learn to play the guitar" are doomed for failure because they are not, at their core, soul resolutions. Soul resolutions are based on saying yes to your deepest longings. Example. Instead of "Lose ten pounds by June," it might be "Care for my body so that I can continue to feel the pleasure of being fit and fully alive as I grow older."

Below is Ryan's suggestion for how to arrive at your soul resolution:

• Write every goal you think you'd like to accomplish in the next twenty years. Write as fast as possible.
• Then write the number of years you want it to take (one, five, ten, or twenty).
• Circle the top four one-year goals that you want the most.
• Write down some things you may need to do that you don't want to in order to make these goals happen.
• Choose the goal that you are willing to do the hard things for.

Bottom line. In the words of Ryan, " What do you care enough about to apply the necessary elbow grease? What do you want badly enough to keep front and center in your life? To make sacrifices of time and energy for?"

Me? I want to write a book.

Later in her book, Ryan suggests naming the year. She maintains that, "by naming the year we give our thinking something to crystallize around, so we increase the likelihood of doing what we intend."

For me, Claudia K. Beeny, 2010 will be the Year of the Book.

Your turn. Take some time. Respond to the four bulleted questions/points listed above. Mull over your answer and then visit us in the comment section to tell us what you intend to name your year.

Change starts here. Yes, it will take time - maybe even 30 minutes. But, you're worth it and the investment you make will make the rest of the week a whole lot more interesting. There are no shortcuts to fulfilling your dreams.

Join the journey.

Signing off until tomorrow...

Yellow Envelope Project: Florida

Start 2010 off right. Make a resolution that you'll join this committed group of readers in carrying out our Yellow Envelope Project. The rules of play are easy.

Each Saturday I submit the name of someone who shines in his or her corner of the world. Their contribution might not be massive - no fifteen minutes of fame, no feature on the Today Show, no write up in the newspaper, and no fancy award presented or statue is erected. What makes these people shine is their willingness to improve their corner of the world while expecting no recognition.

Take five minutes to write a short note, thanking our recipient for making her corner of the world a brighter place. Place your note in a yellow envelope (or a white one, decorated with yellow markers). Print the words "Yellow Envelope Project" in the return address and be sure to mail it sometime before another name appears next week. Then, sit back knowing your gesture will work some magic.

Recent news coverage of happenings in Afghanistan and Pakistan are unfortunate reminders that our soldiers are still in harms way. Please join me in honoring today's recipient, Kristin. Kristen, together with her friends, is doing her part to make a difference in the lives of our overseas soldiers.

She is awesome, Kristin and her friends have become involved in Operation: Baking Gals in recent months and bake for soldiers oversees monthly. She loves sending mail to friends and family to brighten their days, so being selected would make her month.

Kristin's address is...

Kristin
5400 26th St. W Unit I-138
Bradenton, FL 34207

And, for a little icing on the cake... feel free to send us an email to info@highlowaha.com nominating someone you think is deserves to be recognized through Highlowaha's Yellow Envelope Project. All we need is a first name, and address, and a short paragraph explaining what makes your nominee shine!

Signing off until Monday.

Psst...

I'm sharpening my barbs. Get ready, cause you know what's coming.

Meet me here next week, ready to commit.

Signing off until tomorrow...