B.Y.O.B.

My sister and I shared bunk beds. She on hers and me on mine, Ellen and I dreamed for hours about what life would be like when we were adults and finally calling the shots.

Our parents lived on wheat germ, nuts, grilled vegetables, homemade yogurt, and lots of raw broccoli. Our dreams, therefore, were about junk food. And, lots of it!

We insisted we would eat ice cream every day. We wold have Hostess Twinkies in our cabinets, Mallomars in every cookie jar, soda flowing freely from all our faucets, and chips always on hand. Breakfast, the most important meal of the day, would start off just right - with sweet cereal in big bowls. Yes, we dreamed about the day we would have our own homes and could finally stock our cabinets with the good stuff.

We didn't let our parents unfortunate health habits dissuade us. Every Saturday the family made our weekly trip to Bohaks, a supermarket in the next town over. Each week we wandered the aisles, looking longingly at all the fun treats - not the Fruit Cocktail and shortbread cookies my mother called dessert. When we got to the Sweet Cereal aisle it was always the same plea. "Just one box. Come on. We'll never ask again. Pretty please, with sugar on top." Ok, maybe not "the sugar on top" part. That would be adding insult to injury, wouldn't it?

January 13, 1973. Thirty-seven years ago. That was the year my father buckled. Standing right there in the cereal aisle, he conceded. Yes, to sweet cereal. One box on this one day each year.

I haven't missed a Sweet Cereal Day since.

Even while I was in college living in Manzanita Hall, where bottomless canisters of sweet cereal could be found everywhere and my parents could be found nowhere, I still only treated myself to sweet cereal on the much anticipated January 13. Wherever I go, so goes this favorite family tradition. New York, Arizona, Georgia, North Carolina, Texas, back to Georgia, Kentucky, and then back to Texas again.

Today I celebrate with my boys. One box Captain Crunch. One box Sugar Smacks. One box Coco Puffs. One box for breakfast. One box for lunch. And, one box for dinner.

Join me, won't you? But, it's B.Y.O.B. (Bring your own box). Which box of sweet cereal will you be bringing?

Signing off until tomorrow when I should start coming down from my sugar high!

Whack on the Side of the Head Wednesday: Corned Beef and Cabbage

I started this blog a year and a half ago, because I believe small things make a big difference.

Consider this. Birthdays were a big deal growing up in my house. If your birthday landed on a school day you were treated to a highly coveted Coke, instead of a can Mott's Apple Juice; your first treat of the day was always waiting in your cereal bowl; and you always, always got to pick the dinner of your choice. Mine? Corned beef and cabbage with cooked carrots and potatoes. So etched is this memory in my mind, that Richard (thoughtful man that he is) still makes this dinner for me every October.

Here's the truth. I wasn't eating corn beef and cabbage at two or three years of age and probably not even three or four. I probably ate my first corn beef and cabbage dinner was when I was nine and I left for college when I was 18 years old. That means this birthday memory, etched so deeply in my mind, actually happened eight or nine times... at most!

When you get down to it, it's true. Some of our most fond childhood memories are family traditions that, when truly recalled, can be reduced to an event that happened six or seven times.

Today's post is in celebration of this factoid.

Last year around this time I introduced readers to my neighbor Nan A. Not only did I share her simple First Day of School family ritual, but I shamelessly stole it, replicated it, and gave an extra one away on my blog.

Her idea was a table cloth. When Nan's kids come down to breakfast on the first day of school they are met with a well appointed kitchen table - the star of which is a first-day-of-school tablecloth. That's it. No bells, no whistles, no major expense and limited preparation on Nan's part. But to those three kids who are already excited about the prospect of a new year, the sight of that familiar table cloth provides the security of a warm blanket.

It's not really about the table cloth - which Nan admits is just a large swatch of material from Joann Fabrics. It's about Nan's one gesture, repeated annually and ultimately condensed into one poignant childhood memory.

Small things make a big difference.

Today let's whack First Day of School Traditions (yours as kids, ones you've recently started, or - since so many of you work in higher education - ones you can share with college students). But, as is always the case, let's apply a creative principle from Axelrod's book on Edison (today's principle should seem especially timely to any reader participating in our StrengthQuest Saturdays).

Play to your strengths. If you are a manager, manage others in innovation. If you are a theoretician, think innovatively. But if you are hands-on, innovate with your hands. See the work and see it through. Let it take shape under your touch.

How can you use your strengths to innovate a fall tradition?

Signing off until tomorrow....

Maintenance Monday and Makeshift Mailboxes

We are a busy group. If you are new to this site, you should know this. The philosophy... For those who much is given (fun, friends, and creative ideas), much is required (participation, input, and even new referrals).

So a quick update for all those... new and returning...

• If there are any Leadershapers out there... HI and thanks for joining us! In the next couple of weeks we will embark on a selection process to determine which of 13 dedicated students we will support in his or her work toward achieving the vision statement developed last week at Leadershape (for some sample visions check out Vision Showcase (5/8) .
  
• Mark, if you're out there check out the picture below. Read it and weep! Yes... I've been home for LESS than 24 hours and Harvestwood Court has already had its inaugural "Open Grill." For those of you just tuning in, Mark's Colorado neighborhood is the ultimate community. I recently shared (The Value of One, The Power of All - 5/7 ) examples of fun activities shared by he and his neighbors. The concept of an "Open Grill" was one of the many. If you do something fun, let us know so we can feature (and possibly copy) your neighborhood.

• We've had lots of new people post in the recent past. Welcome... Dawn, Beekayroot, Dr. Russ, Jennie, and the others who I might have missed. As for some of our loyal readers... Cassie had her surgery and is in recovery; cspgradstudent graduated on Saturday; Stacie returns to Louisville with her beautiful two-month old baby boy after six successful weeks in Maryland; and sending positive thoughts Heather's way.
  
• Jennie asked last week what title was for someone who worked with college students at a university. A quick note and invitation to Jennie. Jennie, if you think you might be interested in learning more email me at cbeeny@lslog.com and we can talk in greater detail. In the meantime... The position I most recently held was Dean of Students. The work I did at Leadershape was that of a Lead Facilitator, through the Leadershape organization. It is great and rewarding work! Many of the readers, in fact, are in a similar line of work (or will be soon). If you post questions, I am sure you will great lots of helpful information and insight.
  
• Taste of USA will be starting very shortly. Cheryl and I will meet one day this week and with a little luck, we will kick off the contest next week. Last I looked, we still need representative readers from North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, and West Virginia. If you know anyone in those four places then please, please, please pass our site along. Our goal is to start the contest with at least one reader per state.
  
• Flat Stanley is in the house! Yes, Helena has had quite an adventuresome month or so with our beloved Stanley. We will hear all about it tomorrow when I post a summary of her adventure and the ONE surviving picture (the explanation is all part of her great adventure). What YOU need to know is that Flat Stanley is up for grabs. The first person to reply TODAY will serve as his next host.

And now for Makeshift Mailboxes....

Yet another great use for paper bags (see This is Your Bag Lady Speaking).

This morning I was unpacking my suitcase from Leadershape and out came my makeshift mailbox. One of the Leadershape traditions is to post a brown bag with the name and picture of each participant on front. Throughout the week participants are encouraged to jot short notes to one another either paying a compliment, making note of an insight one shared; thanking someone for a kind gesture; encouraging someone; or just providing a pick-me-up. I stopped what I was doing and took time to read the notes people wrote me. Fifteen minutes later, I felt GREAT... set for the rest of the day.

I was quickly jolted from the day dream of me standing on a stage, thanking all the people who helped make it possible when Jack hit me over the head with his toy fire engine. But that was ok, because at that particular moment, according to my new found Leadershape friends, I was superwoman!

Maybe I'll try it at home in the next couple of weeks. Each of us will decorate our own brown bag, hang them in either the kitchen or laundry room and for one week we will leave treats or encouraging notes to one another. You can argue... What do you need a brown bag for? Why just a week? Why write down the compliment when you can just open your mouth and just say it? All good, legitimate questions. So, I ask you... when is the last time you took out five minutes to formally acknowledge the things about your family members for which you are proud and appreciative? Our lives are busy and sometimes more time passes between thoughtful gestures than we think.

So, how about it? Brown bags... $1.99, tape for posting bags... $1.00, markers to write with... $4.99, knowing your family is proud of you... priceless.

Signing off until tomorrow...

Ding, Ding, Ding... I Interrupt This Programming...

... to make this special and relief-filled message...

WE DID IT! As of 6:30 a.m. this morning we reached a grand total of 5,090 viewers! This is a great day! Celebrate with me. Stop what you're doing... where ever you are - at home; in the office; in the library preparing for finals; on your PDA in the doctor's office or commuting on a subway, and do the happy dance! That's it.... No, don't stop yet... keep dancing. This is a big deal. After 77 days of trying we not only reached, but PASSED the magical number 5,000!

For those of you who have been with me from the beginning... THANK YOU! Thank you for reading loyally and for passing the site along to friends, family... uncles, aunts, and pets. For those of you who recently joined us... welcome. You will soon discover what a fun, involved, and CREATIVE group of people with which you are now keeping company.

So much hype... Many of you either never knew or forgot to what end it was that we were pursuing this magical number. We have been reaching for 5,000 so that I may FINALLY share the origin of my blog name. A couple of you already know its meaning, because to know me well is to know how integral "highlowaha" is to my life. Others of you have no idea and, in fact, my good friend and old neighbor from Kentucky just asked me tonight why the heck I named my blog "snickerdoodle.com." You know what that means... my good friend, Jill, hasn't visited once (until tonight when I threatened that she either visit and be one of the final 13 viewers needed or run the risk of my posting some very dubious scoop on her). So here we go...

You can stop dancing now.

Yikes... after all this time and all this effort, I'm a little worried today's post will be anti climatic. Will you think it was worth the wait? All I can say in defense of my blog name and today's creative idea is that this simple little phrase (perfect BECAUSE of its simplicity) is an important part of my life. It is the lens through which I actually talk about and, when appropriate, process life. I use it with my family; droves of students have been subjected to it; and even friends have come to expect the phrase. So here we go... like it or leave it.

Each night at dinner, once everyone is seated and the meal has been served, we go around the table and talk about our days. Each person shares his HIGH for the day (meaning the best thing that happened all day long); his LOW for the day (meaning the worst thing that happened all day long); and his AHA (meaning something he learned during the day). That's it. That's what you've been waiting for. But the richness of this exercise is not in its complexity. There are no bells, no whistles, no money required, no experience, or talent necessary... it is just the simple coming back together to share what we missed in each other's days, while busy living in our own corner of the world.

The power of this activity comes in its simplicity and therefore the ease with which it can become a family tradition. Sometimes my boys try to convince me they had no "low" or that they can't think of an "aha." I reply.... "Impossible." There is always a "lowest" point of the day, even if it's the gloomy weather outside or that you didn't like what was packed in your lunch. Similarly, we must focus each day on discovering something new. It can be something new you learned about yourself, a life lesson, or book knowledge from a class you took or a book you've read. Every day... something new.

Now, what is really interesting is that when pushed to come up with an answer, your kids (and maybe even other friends and family) will share far more with you than they otherwise might. Telling of "highs" proves to be easiest for most. It's the "lows" and "ahas" that can be trickier. Ricky might initially say he had no "low," but when pushed for an answer will share of an argument with a friend, being made fun of, or a bad grade. Even Matthew will tell tales of kids chasing him on the playground, someone hitting him, or a missing out on "ball crawl" (a favorite school activity). As for "ahas", it is not uncommon for a "low" to also serve as the source for an "aha." Example... Low... "I did poorly on my math test." Aha... "I learned I need to study further in advance." Priceless. I'll take that lesson in cause and effect any day of the week!

There is really no setting in which this great little framework does not work wonders. I use it with students to reflect on programming.... "high" (greatest success), "low" (worst mistake), "aha" (something learned about self or group dynamics, by virtue of working on the program). It can work with staff, in weekly one-on-ones or at evaluation points... "high" (accomplishment I am most proud of), "low" (thing for which I am least proud), and "aha" (something I learned about self, supervision, or even a new skill or competency). I even use it when trying to catch a friend up after a long period of not talking. "Highs" (best things going on in life since we last spoke). "Lows" (worst things that have happened since we last spoke), and "ahas" (things I learned since last we spoke).

Tonight at dinner, try it... but with this caveat... you must give it time. It will take a few weeks of consistently trying, before your family and friends get the hang and most importantly... come to expect it.

So, now that the cat is finally out of the bag... I can periodically integrate this new dimension into my blogs. Let's give it a whirl...

• HIGH: Obvious... Reaching for 5,000 and surpassing it with two full days to go!


• LOW: Two of my three boys are sick


• AHA: I hate throw-up and... there is little that a committed group of people cannot accomplish when setting their mind to something (and, of course, when something hideous is at stake).

I'd love to hang around here and celebrate longer, but I have dancing to do and treats to eat!

Signing off until tomorrow!

My Great Day Green Plate

When I was in first grade you were either good or bad and mostly good. Nobody wanted do deal with the wrath of Mrs. Arcidiacono when she was mad. But, 20+ years later when my son entered first grade there was a system for gauging behavior so elaborate that a owners manual would not have been too far fetched. Nine years later I only remember bits and pieces of the plan. Kids started off every day with a name plate. Children moved from green to yellow to red, depending on their behavior. As you can imagine... green was good - keep on moving. Yellow was a warning - slow down, you're in the danger zone. And, red was flat out bad - STOP!


With a son who is not only energetic, but at the time was also an only child (just dying to get to school where he had peers to talk and play with), we spent our fair share of time in the yellow and red zones. We, like most parents, tried every trick in the book... rewarding the good days and punishing the bad days. That year, on St. Patrick's Day, I presented Ricky with what I was sure would be the magical solution to all of our behavioral problems. I poured over my project for weeks, believing I guess that there was a correlation between the amount of time I spent on the project and its effectiveness in improving Ricky's classroom behavior. Finally I gave it to him - wrapped all in green and with a big beautiful green bow. It was after all...

The Great Day Green Plate. The idea behind the plate was that each night Ricky came home with a green sticker, he would get to eat from his custom designed green plate. Make it through the whole week and he sets the menu for that night's dinner... and more importantly... for that night's dessert. I wish I could say it turned his behavior around. He still periodically ended up in the yellow or red zone... for some rendering the plate a failure. But, it did draw extra special attention to his good behavior and Ricky always knew when he was eating from the right plate.

Ricky's fifteen now and the novelty of the plate has worn off some. We still pull the plate out when he has a big accomplishment - winning a race at a swim or track meet; getting a good grade on an exam or project; his birthday; and periodically yes, making it through the week without "incident." He's proud of his plate and he's sentimental enough that I think someday he'll pass it along to his kids. I'm satisfied with that. If the plate gets passed along and he can help create a sense of family tradition, I'll give the green plate an A+!

There's an equivalent to the Green Plate that you should know about. It's the Red Plate (believe it or not). Written around the edge of the plate are the words, "You Are Special Today." The idea is the same. The plate is intended to be a family heirloom, passed along and used to recognize major accomplishments. It even comes with a marker allowing you to write the date and accomplishment on the bottom of the plate. I love giving these plates as either a wedding gift or baby shower gift. When I give one I feel like I am giving a lifetime of warm memories - and maybe even the start of a family tradition. If you want to see one on-line type in The Original Red Plate Company. They're made in Germany.

Signing off until tomorrow...

Ice cream Sundae!

If you know me at all, it will not surprise you to know that our week is topped off with an ice cream sundae. In fact, I do believe that my appointing a different activity to each day began with the need for some excuse to have ice cream at least once a week. I spent years working at Haagen Dazs as a teenager and in college and then more years, in the late 80's when frozen yogurt was hitting the scene, working at Yogurt Oasis - the favorite hangout for college students in Tempe, Arizona. Even when I was floating around the world on a ship for a semester, two shipmates and I spent hours daydreaming about finally being reunited with Ben and Jerry. I know ice cream!

So every Sunday night we break out all the works and create our sundaes. Ice cream, hot sauce, sprinkles, whip cream, and topped off with a cherry. Oooohhh, sometimes there are variations. If we bake brownies during the weekend, they become brownie sundaes; a delivery of Girl Scout Cookies means a special think mint cookie topping for the house; Christmas time 'tis the season for snowman sundaes; and when feeling like especially responsible parents we throw on some fruit such as strawberries or bannnas.

Ice Cream Sundae is made more special because of the bowls we use. Our close, close friends from Georgia know of our love for ice cream and six years ago presented us with personalized bowls for each family member. At that time it meant three bowls - one for me, one for Richard, and one for Ricky. Two years later a matching bowl showed up with Matthew's name on it, and this past Christmas a final bowl was added to the collection for Jack... and I do mean THE FINAL BOWL.

Tonight we have a visitor flying into town from Kentucky. Maybe we'll celebrate with Derby Pie Sundaes - pecans, carmel, chocolate, and... bourbon!

Fun in a Box Friday!

Nothing says weekend like Fun in a Box Friday. When my two sisters and I were growing up, Friday's nights seemed picture perfect. We ate spaghetti and meatballs for dinner (considered a real family treat), snuggled in sleeping bags in front of our of our 10"x10" (yes, I mean inch not foot) black and white t.v. and watched the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family, back to back, during Prime Time. That seemed like heaven. Ann, Ellen, and I would start acting crazy the moment we got home from school, in anticipation of the fun awaiting us that evening. My mother even developed a diagnosis. She called it the "Friday Night Crazies."



At our house we celebrate many Friday's with our Fun-In-A-Box box. It's filled with slips of paper, each revealing a different fun activity submitted by someone in the family. Examples include things such as bowling, watch a movie, eat dessert under a tent, shop in the $1 bin at Target, play a game, make smores, sleep in sleeping bags, play frisbee, and do a craft (guess who wrote that one?!). We are also sure to submit festivals, carnivals, and other attractions listed in the newspaper, as they appear. We rotate who the lucky family member is that gets to draw the weekly activity. Once randomly selected, we're off for an evening of fun.

Notes about why this works... First, we don't try to do it every week. Impossible. Between school obligations, birthday parties, and other life events, we would never be able to sustain it every week all year. Instead, I slip a note in their lunch bag or cereal bowl announcing that today is a "Fun in a Box Friday." Then they have the day to anticipate the fun that awaits. Second, the selections are a range from simple (dessert in a tent or game night) to the more elaborate (do a craft or attend a festival). Third, we set a dollar limit ($10.00) on the submissions they are allowed to make. That way it's less about money and more about doing a fun activity together. My husband and I are the ones who submit the more costly activities (bowling or a festival).

Grown-up version...

Let's face it... Fun-in-a-Box-Friday could work for you and a group of friends, you and your boyfriend or girlfriend, or you and your office mates. Wouldn't Friday's in the office be more fun if there was a box from which you drew a random, but fun activity, in which everyone participated?! Heck yes.

But, that's not my adult version for the day. No, we will call the grown-up version... Free For All Friday. The purpose behind this is to have you - my loyal blog readers - submit questions, challenges, consultations or requests for a creative solution to something you have on your mind. It could be how to organize something in your house, a gift idea, an idea for a party favor, or holiday celebration. You name it. The real beauty behind this is that I will post my attempt at an answer and then each of you can take a crack at it by posting your response. That way, the person posing the question receives the benefit of our collective creativity.

I ran this idea past a loyal confidante of mine and she immediately posed a challenge. So here we go... week one and we are already in business. She is looking for an inexpensive party favor ($1-$3/per favor) that she can present to each of the six boys on her son's soccer team at the conclusion of soccer season. She wants it to be something they are likely to hold onto for longer than it takes to get from the field to the car. The boys range in age from 5-6.

Hmmm... whistles?... no, the other soccer mom's would kill her. Soccer ball cookies wrapped in cellophane (everything looks better wrapped in cellophane - a topic we'll talk about later) and sitting on top of AstroTurf? I like the idea, but will she think it won't last long enough? Soccer ball hats (sold at party supply stores) with a fun note that says, "Hats off to you!"? Is a hat anti climatic for a 5 year old boy? Oooohhh... but the idea improves if she brings Sharpie markers and lets each of the boys sign one another's hats, including their team number. I still like the idea of somehow using AstroTurf. I'll keep pondering, but now you give it a try....

Signing off until tomorrow, ____________ Saturday.

Roll of the Die

In 1999 I went to Austria for my cousins wedding. One afternoon my mother and I were wandering in and out of little shops when I stumbled upon a red die, called a Chore Die. At the time I was single with no kids and living alone... but I saw the potential. I snatched it up and back to the states I went.

Ten years later the die sits prominently placed in our family silverware drawer. Each evening we roll it to see who gets to set and clear the dinner table. Each side of the die reads either "ich", "du", or "wir" - translation "I", "You", or "We." While each of the boys have their own set of ongoing chores such as feed the dog, clean your room, or bring in the garbage cans, the chore die takes a small daily task and creates some family fun around it being assigned.

I haven't seen one of these die anywhere in the states, but it sure wouldn't be hard to replicate. For the super industrious you could get a small block of wood, sand and paint it and then write the words on each side. For those of us without access to wood or sanders, how about the cardboard boxes they sell at Michaels for decoupaging? And if neither of those still seem up you alley, then how about a jar filled with slips of paper? The main idea is to create a sense of fun and anticipation around something that might otherwise be dreaded.

Once you have the "Chore-Die-Lense", you quickly see the potential for other uses. It can be used to divvy out the last yummy piece of cake, to decide who selects the pizza topping, the family outing, or a game on game night. In my case today, I will use it to determine who gets to sort the socks. Five people x 2 socks per day x 7 days = 70 socks per week (- 2 or 3 that get lost in dryer abyss). That's a lot of socks. Tune in Monday to discover the lucky winner.